God's timing is real. God's voice is real. God is real.
Last weekend I embarked on a spiritual journey that silenced my worries and steadied my heart. From October 20th-23rd, I went to "Our Lady of the Oaks Jesuit Retreat House." The retreat I attended was silent, meaning no talking for three days! This was a penance for me, but I am so happy that I chose to challenge myself. On this retreat, I got to step away from the world and place myself in a haven with God. Aside from the graces upon graces that I received, I'd like to talk about God's timing. This post will be a little lengthy, but I promise, it's worth it. Without further ado, this is my story of realizing God's timing, hearing God's voice, and feeling God's presence.
Journal Entry from August 1, 2021
God's presence today... An older couple was sitting next to me in mass. The woman had a beautiful voice, accompanied by a little cough. Something inside me kept wanting, and telling, me to get her water. I put away the thought because she had turned down a cough drop. I didn't want to bug her again in mass. After communion, I was praying the "Respect For Life" prayer when she hands me a prayer card. It had Mary on it. So, I whispered, "Do you know my mom?" (thinking she had heard about the recent loss of my twins). She told me, "No, I just felt called to give you this." Tears filled my eyes. Jesus had spoken to me. Mary was holding my babies. After mass, I shared a brief explanation of the twins and how my mother and I constantly prayed to Mary while in the hospital. Turns out, this is the church she works at in Lake Charles, Louisiana. "Immaculate Conception Cathedral: 1869 Parish Sesquieentennial 2019," is what the card read. After telling my mom about this God wink, she tells me to read up on the Immaculate Conception. She told me, "Mother Mary knows and understands her children's sufferings."Today I see that timing is everything. It takes a long time to fully understand what that truly means. I am finally starting to see the beauty in time.
Fast forward over a year later, I begin looking for a silent retreat to go on. I finally find one at "Our Lady of the Oaks Jesuit Retreat House." I call, but it is all booked. Sad, but still hopeful, I start looking again. My Mom, a helper, has found a different retreat available. However, as we are on the phone, the other retreat house is calling. I answer. They have a spot open for me! I take the opportunity and kindly decline Mom's find. I literally told Mom, "I really feel like this is the one I am meant to go on."
So, this retreat captain and I are texting back and forth about struggles in life and how this retreat will be a good step to deepening my relationship with God. I put her in my contacts as "Retreat Lady in LC."
The day of the retreat comes, so I finally get to meet this lady I have been speaking to. We both introduce ourselves and go about our business. Now, it didn't take me long to realize that I was the only twenty-year-old that was attending this retreat. So, naturally, I felt a bit out of place. I laughed about it and just said a quick prayer that something, or someone, would make me feel like I belonged here.
God heard that prayer. On the second morning of the retreat, I am silently eating my breakfast when it dawned on me that I knew one person here. I knew the captain. I had already met her last August and reintroduced myself like a fool this weekend. Did she notice who I was also? I couldn't wait till the silence was over to ask her this (at the end of our retreat). So, I wrote a letter explaining who I thought she was, asking her to nod with a "yes" or "no."
"Yes," she nodded. She was the woman I had met in mass last year, the one who handed me the prayer card. That "yes" was God's way of telling me "I want you here. You listened well."
If that's not enough to convince you that I was where I needed to be, I've got another God wink... The priest in charge of the retreat was a twin himself!
I do not think by any means that these were coincidences. This was God's timing. I played a part in his plan, all because I listened to his voice one year ago. I tell this story to encourage you to listen to that small voice.
"When he has driven out all his own, he walks ahead of them, and the sheep follow him, because they recognize his voice. But they will not follow a stranger; they will run away from him, because they do not recognize the voice of strangers."-John 10:4-5
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